Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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