got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
