Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
