She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
