i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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