Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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