one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
