we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
