Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
