The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
