don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
