I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
