he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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