Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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