i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
false alarm, still single
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