Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
