So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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