She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
