Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
