I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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