He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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