So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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