Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
