I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I still have a little drunk in my system
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
