your room smells of hookers.
And success
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
