Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
