he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
