this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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