i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
