so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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