i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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