You made me cry and you don't even care
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
