why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
