My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
