I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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