Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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