Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
