come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it hurts more in the daytime
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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