Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize