Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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