I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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