Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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