You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
