I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
