I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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