new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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