fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize