you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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