Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
