I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So squirting runs in the family.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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