I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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