I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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