we made out on top of his cat.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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