there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
