I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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