last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
