you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
