I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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