I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I sprained my soul last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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