Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
