I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
