Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
even my farts smell like vagina
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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