i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize