sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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