respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
