Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize